My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Randomize
