I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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