You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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