my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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