how can u be prego again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am one with the molecules
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize