If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
