HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
