I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
