Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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