it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
