I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
