I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
