I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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