we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
