we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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