I just pynch a tree in the face
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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