it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
