If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dicks are not precious.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize