My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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