forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
