I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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