as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
