Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
