I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize