I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize