yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
