the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
