i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
