Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
