I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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