"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
