You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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