I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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