this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
