I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize