"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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