Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
