She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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