i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
