One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
