so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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