My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
