You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
