There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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