Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
