She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
