do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm getting married
To pizza
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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