Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
