K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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