i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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