Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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