I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
nutella sex= disaster
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
