i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
as a side note pls kill me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
