Little spoons don't ask big questions
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
