I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
