It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize