i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
