i think i have two assholes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
