he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
