my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize