You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
