If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's like iHOP with fire
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
