My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
tell me about the eggs
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
