So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
