I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
