drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
