I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
